Onion Headlines

I heard part of a podcast on This American Life that talked about the writer's room for The Onion - America's Finest News Source.  I thought I'd practice their process of submitting headlines on Monday.  Here are 10 I came up with this morning.

1. Hyper-intelligent lab mouse discover cheese isn't worth running maze for


2. Christian loses faith after lottery picks "not even close"


3. Local pigeons form class-action lawsuit against mobile game Angry Birds


4. Africans still without vaccine for Beiber Fever


5. Black Friday returned to February, family celebrates


6. Lonely zit not happy on celebrity face


7. Cow seen crying over spilt milk


8. Turkey PTSD on the rise


9. Area man declares Facebook "The Next Big Thing"


10. Jewish evergreen tired of being called Christmas tree

If you leave me a comment about which headline you think would make the best article, I'll also write the article.  Boom!